There's a new(ish) song I've been hearing on the radio: The House that Built Me by Miranda Lambert. It's a REALLY good song, I'm hoping that it'll be up for song of the year. Anyways, this song's been making me think about my life lately. Basically the song is about going back to the house that she grew up in; the house of her momma's dreams, where her favorite dog is buried, where she learned how to play guitar; she goes back because she's broken and wants to find herself again, "if I could just come in, I swear I'll leave, won't take nothin' but a memory, from the house that built me"
This got me thinking about my life. I often say, "not all that wander are lost," but maybe I am. I've never really had any stability in my life. Growing up we moved every other year or so, not just across town, they were usually cross-country moves. I don't have a "house that built me."
These last couple of years I haven't really known how to be; being in the same place for more than 2 years, having actual friendships, actual relationships. Stability has almost become...debilitating.
I don't know how to be still. I don't know how to not be constantly on the move. In my head I keep thinking up ways to "get out" of where I am in life, but, I don't want to "get out." I love where I am in life, I love what I'm doing, I guess I just have a fear, or misunderstanding of stability.
But, I'm learning to be still. I'm learning how to be. I'm learning how to be happy with where I am. I'm learning how to be content in life. Slowly, but surely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYNM6SjD_o
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