Coming out to my dad

I have an interesting relationship with my father. We've gotten closer over the last year than we ever have been, all due to me coming out to him. Oh yeah, I should probably mention that he's gay too. My mom found out that he was cheating on her with a guy and found porn on the computer, so she asked him to move out the summer after my freshman year of highschool (I tried to come out to my mom around this time, but it didn't really work, all that will be in another post). This was LONG before I came to terms with myself (back when I hated myself and thought it was a sin) and I hated him for what he had done. I mean, yeah he could have gone about the whole situation in a better way, but we all make mistakes. Anyways, my mom is the one who told my brother and I why my dad was moving out, and she told us that he was gay, and she tried to get him to go to counseling and save the marriage, but he wouldn't. My dad never knew that I knew exactly why he got kicked out of the house. But I'm sure his gaydar knew I was gay too...

Spring break of 2009 I met a guy on bear411, and we started dating. We lived about 4 hours apart, so we would switch off every weekend driving to see each other. We had been dating for a couple of weeks, and I had this competition thing and he decided to drive down early to see me compete. I decide that that would be a good time to come out to my dad, and introduce him to my boyfriend (I knew he would be okay with it, I mean afterall he is gay too). So, we all went out to eat before my competition and I introduced them. My dad said he had a feeling that it was a boyfriend, when I told him that I had someone for him to meet. It went really well.

After my competition thing was over, and before my dad left to go back home, he told me that he had had a feeling what all of this was about, and that he had a book to give me, The Children Are Free. I've told you about this book in a previous post. It's a great book that goes through the bible and explains all of the verses about homosexuality. It really helped me alot.

So, that's how I came out to my dad. The guy I was dating, and introduced to my dad, and I broke up a couple weeks later (that's a whole other story in itself).

I'd say I'm pretty lucky to have a dad that is gay, and understands what I'm going through. I've heard stories of people coming out to their parents, and the reactions were all over the spectrum, from being loving and accepting and nothing changing, to disowning and never speaking again. My mom still doesn't know I'm gay, although I have a feeling that deep inside she knows and just doesn't want to admit it.

Like I said, my dad and I are pretty close now and talk often, I enjoy getting to spend time with him and his partner, and they both approve of mine.


More to come...