The Drunken Truth

I've been wondering, and asking myself all day if people really tell the truth when they're drunk. By that I mean, are we more honest about ourselves and the way we feel when we're drunk? I ask this skeptically even though I know that I get this way when I drink. My inhibitions dissolve and I'm much more likely to talk about things that I would never talk about, do things that I would never do, say the truth that I would never say...

On saturday I was home working with my dad, and I decided to call up an old friend and see if he wanted to hang out. I say 'old friend' but it's a lot more than just that. I met him about 2 and a half years ago, and was pretty crazy about him for a while, but he wouldn't give me the time of day. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship, so we left it at that. We became friends and have hung out every now and then whenever I'm back home for a few days. Although, I still find him very attractive...lol

So anyways, I call him up saturday night, and he invites me to meet him and some of his friends out at this bar/lounge place that I had never been to. When I get there it's just him and one other guy sitting there, and as soon as I sit down the other guy says, "well, I better get going, I'll leave you two alone." I was a bit confused at this, but didn't give it much thought.

We're sitting there with some beers, catching up, listening to the fantastic two person band, and after a little while, he starts in.

He tells me he loves me.

I'm like, "You're drunk."

He says, "Yeah, I am, but it's not the alcohol talking, I love you."

I don't really know what to say, and still don't believe him.

He goes on about how he's tired of running around, and is ready for a relationship, and how whenever he's thinking about it all it always comes back to me, and when he sees me he feels like I'm the one.

Now I really don't know what to say.

He goes further and apologizes for all the shit he's put me through, and the way he treated me way back when, and keeps telling me that he loves me.

I'm like, "You're serious, aren't you?"

He says, "Yes, I love you."

I tell him that he doesn't even really know me.

He says, "Are you really gonna say that? I know enough to know that I love you..."

He goes on saying, "Let's do this, let's be together, I'll commit to you right now, no one else but you. I'll do anything to prove it to you..."

This goes on for quite a while, and we are continuing to become more and more inebriated. He's too drunk to drive, and I'm a little buzzed but fine to drive so I take him home. The whole time he's asking me to stay the night, that he wants me there, that he needs me there.

First thing: I REALLY wish I could have stayed the night with him BUT I was in my moms car and she needed it in the morning, plus I had to work with my dad the next morning and all my stuff was at my moms

Second thing: I'm REALLY glad I had that excuse because I'm kinda crazy about this guy back home, and there's a chance that it could go somewhere.

I'm texting the guy I'm interested in telling him what all has happened (because it came out of nowhere, and was still kind of in shock).

I'll give you some background on our deal before I tell you his response and what all happened there...

So, I've known/had a crush on this guy, we'll call him Joe, for about a year and a half or so. I actually met him through my ex. We've been talking/casually dating for a few months now since the breakup. I was working on a post about him and our situation BUT then this happened, so I'll give you the condensed version.

I can't stop thinking about him. I know that I would fall hard for him if given the chance. We are both DEFINITELY attracted to each other, and there's no denying that we have chemistry. BUT, he's hung up on the age difference. There's 22 years between us; it doesn't matter to me, but it kind of does to him. He says that I should go out and experience life, do the things I can only do when I'm young, go out and "lick a lot of lollipops"...

In one way, I agree with him. I have a wild streak that wants to take off and go and not look back. But then again, I think: wouldn't it be better to experience life, and do those things With someone? I'm not a big fan of sampling the candy store...I'd much rather find my favorite flavor and stick with it, if you know what I mean...

I've spent the night with him a couple of times, but nothing ever happened because we're both the type that if it were to get physical, it'll quickly get emotional, and for now he doesn't want that because of the age thing.

SO, back to the other story:

I'm texting him what all is going on, and when I tell him that I dropped the guy off at his house, Joe says, "You should've stayed with him! Why didn't you stay?!"

I responded with, "YOU! I'm freakin' crazy about you!"

At this point I was just drunk enough that I let everything out. I told him all the feelings I had for him, I sent him the email that I had had typed up for weeks but hadn't quite found the courage to send yet.

I had just bled the drunken truth.

By then I was too drunk and tired to talk, and he was ambiened, so we left it to talk the next day. The next day he basically said that we need to sit down and talk and figure out what's gonna happen. Which is what he's been saying for months now. I'm kind of getting tired of being pushed around, being put off, especially after I've told him how I feel, and that I want to be with him.

So, now I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to hang out and talk with the old friend who professed his love for me when I'm back home for thanksgiving. I guess we'll see how it goes...

More to come...